Bear Hunting and Flashbacks to Mud Wrestling

So I uploaded a video of Henry "reading" a book to me today, which he does nearly every day before nap time now... or he sits in the bathroom and reads to me while I'm in the shower.

Same video... just edited to "Chipmunk-style".  I think it really adds something special to it.

  

Of course, I had to watch the "Toddler Mud Wrestling" video from when they were one year old. It's too damn cute to stand, especially with Ellie watching it with me and laughing hysterically about Henry eating mud.

Bear for Lunch

Henry: Daddy I want a bear lunch.
Me: Bears eat berries and stuff they find in the forest.
Henry: That's not a right recipe. You suppose a cut up a bear, put in a pot, put some sauce on, put some chips on top like a TV lady. And bake it up. That's a bear lunch.
Me: OK.... Do you have a bear?
Henry: Daddy that's why we gotta go to a park. Let's us bring my sword.

This is a combination of Martha Stewart and Animal documentaries, I'm sure of it. Thanks PBS, but I think we'll have ham and cheese for our park picnic instead.

Parenting Among Monkeys, Squirrels, and Boo-Guys.

Sometimes in my profession, it feels like I get to see the worst of society.  Most of the stories I hear I would never dare repeat.  Maybe all of this has made me more of a realist. I know the terrible things that happen out of sight and I don’t just want to shelter my kids from it, but I want to caution them from venturing out into the world in a state of naïve bliss.

I believe in “Boo Guys”. My husband does well in grounding me and we are honest with our children, but in an age appropriate manner.  My children will likely understand some of the more uncomfortable issues in life before their peers, but they will be well equipped and resourceful when confronted by them.  That being said, you have to allow your co-parent the freedom to parent the way they choose sometimes.

Awhile back, I felt it was appropriate to share that the Father Monkey on the Discovery Show died but my husband felt it better to just let the kids think he was sleeping, to avoid all the questions and tears.  So where did my husband find himself the following day? 

Reluctantly driving a wounded "baby" squirrel in a dog carrier to another town to “save his life,” because my kids could not bear the thought that their dog had [nearly] fatally wounded this little creature.  Now if I were home, I will not lie, we might have come to a similar conclusion, but with no one home to capture the limping squirrel and assist in putting it in a box (with no hope of getting out in my car) I would have likely let nature take it’s course. And then sent my husband out to clean up the carnage when he got home, all the while taking the kids out to a store, library, park, anywhere just to get their mind off the “incident.”  

There are Boo Guys in the world, bad things do happen, thankfully, my kids have me to warn them of these things, and their father there making the world a better place, one squirrel at a time.  As for our dog, Jackie, I am not sure when they will trust him again.  I know the squirrels never will.

The Yellow Brick Road

Today I thought it was a good idea to pull a wagon containing a 47 lb boy, 35 lb girl, 12 lb dog, diaper bag, ice pack, water bottles, & lunch for all to Fell park, maybe a mile away. This wasn't too terrible since my miniature dauschund mix, Ollie helped pull as best he could. It was the next leg that hurt. It began after a half hour of playing the part of the Cowardly Lion to my son's version of the Tin Man, my daughter's Dorothy, and of course Toto was there. Then the Tin Man decided we were to follow him "down the yellow brick road" which is also known as "the longest way possible to the Illinois Wesleyan quad" where we had agreed to go to see the huge metal sculptures. Upon arrival, we learned the sculptures are no longer there. The Tin Man started to wail in the pre-nap time way that Wizard of Oz characters do. So I did what was right and lied to my 3 year olds and explained the sculptures had gone for a walk to visit sick children in the hospital. Then I pulled them home in the sun in misery, neither willing to walk, neither willing to refrain from touching the other, both sweaty, whiney messes.
 Now, the redeeming part of this story is this: We did all this without a potty break or accident, except for the dog but those were no accidents.
I was about to Facebook how exciting that was until I realized I was essentially telling everyone I've ever met, "I went for a walk and no one wet their pants." Sometimes my brain temporarily shifts back to pre-kids mode at just the right moment and I'm able to see how different things are now. What excites me now, seems lesser and greater depending so much on perspective. I guess, all I'm sure of is, I can't recall feeling so grateful for so many small accomplishments, especially the ones which must seem miniscule from the outside looking in.

The Fight to Include Dads in "Amazon Mom" Program

I love that this article was written for the online magazine "New jersey Family: The Essential Source for New Jersey MOMS"!  Take a hint from your own article/writer and get with the times. Unless the conversation is specific to an issue regarding a female parent in a physical sense--such as episiotomy scars or breastfeeding tips--we could all benefit from swapping "Mom" for "Parent"!

Watch out world, Daddy's gonna remodel you!

Finally, the FDA is reducing it's lifetime ban on gay male blood donors to a less biased one year. Lets' all hope, er, pray that bigots will be fearful of catching "gay cooties" and thus lead healthier, safer lives to avoid blood transfusions, thus leaving more for those with higher IQ's. If I seem overly enthusiastic, it's because I spent 5 years justifying this policy to plasma donors and felt sleazy every time. So, cheers to the retroactive relief of my shame and let's give a hand to welcome the FDA to the 1990's!
Now, add serious gun control, immigration reform that doesn't punish hardworking people, nationwide gay marriage, and an increase in alternative energy research & mental health funding matching the average percent the bank CEO's took out of their bailout-- and then I'd say the U.S.A is almost worthy of my children's company. I suppose that means I have alot of work to do in the next 16 years. For now, I have one in a diaper and one on his 3rd day of potty training success and no time to finish our half-completed kitchen remodel... in other words, the world and my junky guest bathroom better watch out when these kids start 3 year old preschool next fall!

FDA article link:
I apologize for the generic article, it was the most recent:
http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2014/12/23/FDA-recommends-lifting-lifetime-ban-on-gay-blood-donors/4851419366392/