Thursday, November 10, 2016

Whoever she may be.

Non-college educated, white men and especially non-college educated white women drifted more dramatically conservative than ever before. We all know Trump tapped into an undercurrent of racism and xenophobia, but I think we underestimated sexism, the -ism we pretend to have conquered. We all had forgotten that no one hates a female boss more than another female.
NO... that's not what I want to say.

I am afraid I'll blink and four years will have passed. I'll be afraid to open the curtains for fear the sky will be deregulation orange from manufacturing all the Trump bobble heads. Dystopian armored law enforcement Humvees and diesel pick-up trucks clog the streets. White men and women carry assault rifles on the shoulders of their dirt bike pads while black and brown people cower when they pass. Muslims and Jews, afraid of constant raids--now live peacefully in Canada, having accepted the offer of two free acres in Nova Scotia. The only Mexican I see, wears a tourist visa around her neck to visit her first grandchild, in the community where she lived for 30 years prior to her deportation. Gay bars mostly closed after homophobic assaults during the gay marriage ban battle of 2018. Transgender people are invisible again, but still in your bathrooms without you noticing, harming no one. Local NPR stations crackle on the radio, underfunded, unable to make repairs. Big brother-esque posters cover government buildings, the orange reflecting onto passerby like jaundice. Flowers are luxury items—the heat and pollution killed all the bees.  Enrollment in higher education declined following cuts to financial aid, making empty buildings prime squatting locations for those displaced when public housing was eliminated.  The planned parenthood offices couldn't afford the armed guards anymore so the cancer center added a wing for the influx of late stage cervical, ovarian, uterine, and breast cancer that went undetected. Toronto and Tijuana offer weekend abortion packages for those wanting to avoid Pence's mandated funerals. 
NO... my exaggerated fears are not important either.

There was only so much good karma and kindness remaining in this country and we used it all to support the Cubs.
NO... I am too despondent for humor.

My son is worried about this wall and confused as to why any human would NOT want to help another.  My daughter doesn't understand how someone so "mean" could win. 
NO... it's too soon.

What I want to say is this: I don't remember Reagan as president but I remember my grandmother explaining to me he was a movie star and not a very good one.  I was eight when George H.W. took office so I remember looking at the Dukakis bumper sticker on the side of the washing machine and being sad. I vaguely recall Bush as president, bombings on CNN and my Dad explaining what a Gulf was. 
What I remember clearly was being eleven and captivated by the campaign of a young, charismatic Bill Clinton, an awkward Chelsea, and the quiet power of Hillary, a female lawyer—the first one I’d seen (it’d be two years until O.J.). I understood the importance of the budget excess and rode a wave of economic good fortune into my first jobs. More than anything, I was an adolescent with one less worry because I felt my country was safe in the hands of this family.


This sounds like I’m dwelling, but it’s really a message of hope for my children:
May your worst memory of this be a sad bumper sticker or better yet, may you only remember my mother’s explanation of how Trump was a reality TV star and not a very good one at that.  
Little ones, may he be your Reagan and Bush rolled into one, and all your real memories begin with your champion from 2020 and beyond…Whoever she may be.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Exactly as they are...


   This is a draft I meant to post a year ago... still applies today:
  Some day both kids decide to wear black rubber boots and shorts. Ellie picks out her shirt every day so I wait to pick out her pants after she puts on the pink and yellow striped shirt--sometimes black leggings are the only pants that match. Henry has worn a tutu on walks & Ellie often wears two tutus to the park. Henry hugs & kisses religious statues. Ellie rolls around and squeals in the shopping cart like it's a sinking ship. They are becoming real people with very different personalities and all I can do is support them.
      Some of us, got lucky and were raised by parents who did this for us, parents who wanted nothing more than for us to feel loved and smart and beautiful exactly as we are.  Unfortunately, many didn't have this experience and thus struggle to believe any of those adjectives apply to them, at least not without squelching their true selves or making serious changes. Under the best circumstances, their parents believed by making their kid more "normal" and "socially acceptable", their child's life would be easier.  And (no surprise) having "normal" kids made life easier for the parents who saved face in the eyes of their peers.
     So when I saw what this Mom decided to share with the world via Facebook I couldn't help but smile. This Mom decided to share her son's story in a way that says "SCREW YOU" to the would-be bullies of adulthood (talk-behind-your-back-wimps, bible-quotes-as-put-downs-insulters, etc). Regardless of your 'moral' stance, you have to respect her courage as a shining example of the warm, open way a new generation of parents are embracing their children--exactly as they are.
      So when we're at a store and both kids, in unison, start singing "Happy Birthday" to an LED candle... I just stand back and smile, reminding myself I want them to stay this confident and full of life forever.  It's not always easy but it's always worth it.

To give proper credit, I found the link here: "Woman Gives Birth to 18 Year Old"  http://www.upworthy.com/this-mom-posted-a-fantastic-announcement-on-facebook-about-giving-birth-to-an-18-year-old-lw1-2?c=ufb1